Embracing Grace and Gratitude During the Holidays

Unlocking Transformation and Finding Flow

As the holidays approach, we are often reminded to pause and reflect on gratitude. Yet, amidst the hustle of preparation, family gatherings, and societal expectations, the season can surface layers of unresolved emotions and shadows. Instead of seeing these as obstacles, the holidays offer a unique opportunity for growth and a chance to engage in our depth work—exploring the constructs that cloud our perception and opening ourselves to the grace and gratitude that naturally flow through us.

As Ram Dass, a spiritual teacher and author, taught, “The shadow is the greatest teacher on how to come to the light… I don't go looking for suffering, but when I do, underneath, I surely find grace." 

What Is Grace, and How Do We Block It?

Grace is not something external that we must earn or deserve. It is an innate, unbroken current of pure, loving energy that moves through us and connects us to the whole of existence. Any story that you live out of that says you or someone you know doesn’t deserve or doesn’t experience it is myopic and leads to an experience of suffering. In our natural state, we are vessels for this flow. However, through the constructs we create—beliefs, emotional walls, and unresolved experiences—we can unintentionally block this flow and cast a shadow on our present experience. These blocks show up as resistance, judgment, or a lack of connection to the present moment.

For many, the holidays bring these constructs into sharp relief. Old family dynamics, feelings of scarcity or overwhelm, and memories tied to past holidays can act as barriers, distorting the season’s intention of connection and joy. This opens us up to more calcified shadows being cast on our 3D world, our everyday reality and experiences.

How the Holidays Highlight Our Constructs: A Call for Self-Reflection

The holidays have a way of amplifying our inner narratives. They highlight both our deepest joys and unresolved aspects of our experience:

• Family interactions can trigger unresolved emotional patterns.
• Expectations (from society or ourselves) may create stress or perfectionism.
• Memories of loss or hardship may arise, bringing sadness or longing to the surface.
• Material focus can obscure the deeper meaning of the season.

These challenges are not obstacles to avoid—they are invitations to turn within and do the work. By exploring the layers of meaning we’ve attached to these experiences, we can dissolve blocks and recalibrate to grace.

Leveraging Grace and Gratitude

The good news is that grace is always available to us, waiting patiently beneath the surface of our constructs. Gratitude is a powerful practice for aligning with grace, shifting our focus from what is lacking to the abundance already present. You are reading this on an electronic device that didn't exist and wasn't possible just 25 years ago. There once was a time when people bathed in pickle barrels in their kitchen... How was that hot shower today? We have become numb to how much we have in our lives to be grateful for. By leveraging the holidays, we can reorient to what is truly empowering and not get sucked into the same ol' disempowering stories we tell ourselves.

Here are some tips to reconnect with grace and gratitude this holiday season:

1. Create Space for Stillness

The holidays are busy, but even five minutes of stillness a day can help you attune to the flow of grace. Sit quietly, breathe deeply, and allow yourself to feel the subtle, life-giving energy within you. We are programmed to be human doings and not the human beings that we are. Learning to disconnect from the expectations and demands of the outside world and tend to your inner wellness can prove fruitful in giving you more space to show up with grace and care.

2. Reflect on Gratitude

Begin or end your day with a gratitude list. Write down three to five things you are grateful for—big or small. The act of noticing can break through constructs of scarcity or negativity. You can’t get to gratitude; you can only be grateful. Any attempt you make at thinking you’ll be grateful when…. (add shiny thing here) will only be met with more shadow and resistance. Finding what you are grateful for now and then building on it is the only way to cultivate more grace. This is the key.

3. Recognize Triggers as Teachers

When difficult emotions arise, don’t push them away. Instead, view them as guides pointing toward the constructs that need attention. Ask yourself, “What story am I telling myself about this situation, and is it true?” You will find that the shadow you manage is probably one you battle year-round. It is only magnified during the holidays. The trigger is just bringing it to your awareness. Remember, objects in the mirror appear closer than they really are.

4. Practice Intentional Giving (Pay it Forward)

Shift the focus of the holidays from consumption to contribution. Whether giving a heartfelt gift, volunteering, or simply offering your time to listen, acts of generosity can reconnect you to grace. At a gas station or a coffee shop, we love to offer the cashier extra money to pay for whatever the person behind us is purchasing. I like to imagine what it feels like to be the recipient of the pay-it-forward practice. It doesn’t take a lot to offer someone a smile. You will find any scarcity you operate from dissipates when you find a way to give, no matter how small. Scarcity is a mindset that self-perpetuates and can’t be “fixed.” By finding ways to give, you train your mind that life has more to offer than you can possibly know. What is a simple act of giving you can offer to help break you out of scarcity?

5. Engage in Depth Work

Take time to explore the deeper patterns that emerge during the holidays. By engaging in the work being presented, you make your suffering sacred. Reflect on questions such as:

• What memories or emotions do the holidays bring up for me? Do I feel this way elsewhere and in other areas of my life?
• What expectations am I holding, and how do they serve or hinder me?  
• Where do I feel disconnected, and what small action could restore connection?
• What is a higher identity of me that could show up, and what would it take to orient from this identity?

6. Surrender to the Present Moment

Grace flows most easily when we stop resisting and start receiving. Let go of striving to create the “perfect” holiday and embrace the messy, beautiful imperfection of the moment. You can’t get to grace; you can only start with grace. Like shadow, grace happens in the present moment. Start in the now, finding where you can move the dial to allow more grace to flow in your world. If you find yourself blocked, ask, where can I impact the flow of grace this holiday season? 

Grace as the Ultimate Gift

At its heart, the holiday season is a celebration of grace—the unearned, unconditional flow of love and light that animates our existence. As we uncover and release the constructs that block this flow, we rediscover our natural state, which is abundant, connected, and free.

By turning within and embracing depth work during this season, we not only experience greater peace and joy for ourselves but also become conduits of grace for those around us.

This holiday season, let us commit to reconnecting with grace and gratitude, removing the blocks we’ve built, and allowing the natural flow of our being to shine through. In doing so, we give ourselves—and the world—the greatest gift of all.

Your Turn: What constructs are you ready to release this holiday season to let grace flow more freely in your life? Let us know in the comments, or share your reflections on what gratitude and grace mean to you.